The High Evolutionary
by Seggy
Summary: Two beings from before this time awaken during a clash between titans. The world is full of surprises, and both wish nothing more than to explore it. However, times are changing... Not everything is as it seems in the world of Pokémon.
1. Chapter 1

**Props to Russell for dragging me out of a hole to rewrite the idea that got me back into writing, the one idea I know I never did justice. This will blow the old version out of the water... so, enjoy.  
**

_A boy wearing cargo pants, a ragged red sweater and yellow cap slowly climbed out of a hole, clawing at the larger rocks within his reach to pull himself away from the creaking, dangerous ladder. He squinted at the bright orange sky as he managed to get to a standing position, looking at the setting sun. The perfect glowing orb was only broken by a silhouette in its midst._

_"You!" The boy held up an arm to shade his eyes, which nearly shone their own yellow in the bright light. As he took steps towards the raised plateau where the figure calmly stood regarding him, he spoke again. "You're the Kanto Champion, right? The Pokémon Master!"_

_The serene shape of the Pokémon Master remained impassive, a humorless smile showing up on his face as he tilted his head._

_"I'm Gold! I challenge you, Champion Red!" The boy on the plateau blinked slowly, eyes a dark crimson that glinted as brightly as the Pokéball in his hand. Gold flinched in surprise at the object that was suddenly in his opponent's hand._

_Red smirked at the reaction, before holding his arm out, pointing the Pokéball's button at the other trainer. Gold's eyes narrowed and a Great Ball was pulled out of his pocked with a flourish._

_A Pidgey flew over the mountaintop with a screech, and two Pokémon materialized silently. The tall blue turtle Pokémon looked at its trainer in askance, only receiving a smile and a nod. Its pink counterpart lazily twisted its head until its trainer was within peripheral vision, and nodded at him instead._

**THE HIGH EVOLUTIONARY  
**

Far from the sky, the clouds and the mountaintop where titans were warring, there was only darkness as the tiny chamber rumbled. Unable to see the great boulders being lifted from the earth itself and being flung into an inferno in the sky, the ground being ripped away by psychic power and titanic force, the two residents were surprised when their crumbling resting places gave way after a particularly strong impact.

Startled coughs and the sound of shifting bodies hurt ears sensitive after eons of silence. Small pebbles were crushed as the two regained the control of their bodies, one leaning against the other to gain his footing. The sounds receded as the two gained awareness of their surroundings, looking around aimlessly at the darkness.

"Simon, light," one of the two rasped, the sound of a pat permeating through the chamber. The one called Simon shifted for a few seconds, before a bright green erupted from his silhouette. Hisses rang from both, the lighter-shaded figure flinging himself away from the man-lamp, while Simon himself tried to cover his eyes to keep the light away with his glowing hands.

The panicked grunting and mumbling subsided after a few minutes of quiet manly sobbing in the part of the shining man, while the other poked around at the decrepit walls, looking up at the cracked ceiling every time it shook.

"You know, I don't think it's too safe in here," Simon's first coherent sentence was absently spoken as he stared from the floor beside one of the crumbled rocky beds at the spreading fissures on the ceiling. He stood from his position with a grunt, looking at his companion. "Viral, you found the way out yet?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes. I'm just trying to remember if we put anything around here for a rainy day."

"I don't think umbrellas will do us much good if we don't know what the hell is happening outside. Let's just open this place up." The wide area marked with cracking red paint was closed-off, part of the wall, even if there was nothing behind it. The two didn't want their beauty sleep interrupted unless something like the mountain falling apart happened, which most likely was a sign of danger to a lot of people.

As it was, neither could draw any conclusions besides, "The mountain is falling apart, or we've been at this for so long that it's collapsing on its own." Or so Viral succinctly put it as the two stared at the painted wall, and the crack in the middle.

Simon looked up and down it, wondering if it would bring the room down upon its occupants if they decided to break through it. Peering at his light-haired companion, he decided to go ahead at the shrug.

There was little build-up to the ferocious punch he used to break out, but it was enough to get his fist through the ten or so centimeters of rock. Thick lines spiderwebbed outwards from the hole, coming to an end where the red-marked area began.

Viral and Simon waited, expecting a grand collapse. Viral's helpful punt gave them a less than stellar show, but at least they managed to leave their residence for the past few millennia before it crumpled up unto them. It was a nasty show, a stalactite falling straight through the ceiling and impaling the middle of the room before it fell apart around it.

"Think we'd have lived through that?" Viral's expression was of reluctant preponderance as the two traveled through the dark, but relatively straight path from their latest home.

Simon glowed quite literally as he shook his head with a roguish grin. "Of course we could. We can't go down in history as Spiral Knights felled by a bunch of pebbles, can we? I've gone through worse than a mountain falling on me. You, too."

"Regardless, I'll miss that old hole."

"You weren't conscious inside it for more than three hours, Viral."

"Details, details." Viral yawned at the path that continued to stretch on. "How deep were we?"

"Deep enough to not become someone's basement floor. Nothing too much, a couple dozen meters."

"So what's with this long path, now?"

"As I'm sure you've noticed, Viral, we aren't necessarily walking straight up," Simon sighed.

Eventually they came upon a dead end, a cement wall whose gray face showed that there was at least civilization beyond the rocks.

"People probably thought this was dug out by animals and led nowhere."

"Maybe they thought bears lived in here and walled them in," Viral suggested. "Should we just break this one down too?"

"I don't know, Viral. This could be the wall of a home. Don't want to crush some old lady with the side of her living room, do we?"

"What kind of old lady has _cement walls in her living room?_ Simon, I can't think of this being anything but some walled-off alley or some part of a warehouse." Taking the initiative, Viral took two steps back, then one ahead before bringing a leg up to deliver a high kick on the wall.

It toppled easily, not even connected to the cave nor the buildings on either side of the newly-discovered alleyway. Both men blinked in wonder at the ridiculous stubby wall. "How lackluster. Just a bunch of bricks on a little base."

Simon ignored his companion as he walked to the edge of the alley, peering out curiously. A child biked by without a care in the world, stopping at a house in the end of the street and

"It's like everything here is happy."

"It's what we worked for, Simon," Viral leered as he watched a young woman bending over to pick up a fallen coin, then happily go on her way.

"Well, it looks like everything is alright." Simon shrugged, looking at the serene clouds over the shining town.

"Hm..." Viral sniffed at the air. "Actually, I doubt it's so idyllic. I smell sex, and alcohol. A bar, most likely. Crazy one, too."

"So what do you reckon we should do?" Simon wondered about the man's point.

"Let's get smashed?"

--__--

The Silver Moon was not a respectable establishment. Brimming with hookers and hustlers that traded the foulest of drinks and drugs, it was only ignored by League Authorities due to its small size and relatively harmless audience. Crime there wasn't something big, ignored by the owner because it only brought more customers from the sleepy town beside it.

Simon and Viral walked into the smoky building with grimaces as the stink of whiskey and bad cocaine washed over them. They walked straight to the counter, shaded red by the dim lights. The bartender sneered, putting his cigarette out as he nodded up at them. "Whatchu want?"

"What do you have?" Viral matched his sneer with his too-sharp teeth, leaning against the counter. Even leaning when the man was standing erect, Viral loomed over his bald head. Gray cloak draped over clothing almost the exact same shade by wear and tear of time threw up slight amounts of dust when his gloved, inhumanly sized hands clutched at the side of the counter. "Actually, it doesn't matter. Give us the best."

With a nervous nod, the slightly-overweight man picked up two shot glasses and dropped them lightly in front of the men. Reaching for bottles of liquor, he made a show of flipping them around before pouring each one a shot. Viral snagged his glass before Simon could even reach for his own, before chugging it down. He slammed the empty glass and nodded at the bartender, who raised an eyebrow and poured another.

Simon leaned against one of the bar stools, drinking slowly as Viral cleaned out the bar's stocks of shot glasses, slowly but surely. He watched in interest, alongside the bartender, as the Beastman started stacking glasses. At first he had a small pyramid, with a base of 25 glasses topped by another of nine, topped by one last glass, which Viral cackled over as he slammed it down.

Simon blinked at the structure, and various other customers stared in wonder. The bartender, on the other hand, seemed slightly horrified when Viral demanded for another glass, looking only slightly red in the face.

"Look, no more shots for you. I don't want you dying on my shift, so I'll cut you-"

"Do you think it's possible to shove somebody's head up his own ass?" Viral cut in, glaring.

"What?"

"Your answer to that won't be what anymore when I'm done with you, if you refuse to serve me."

Reluctantly, another shot was poured, and then another. Viral built up the pyramid's steps, grinning woozily by the time he topped it again.

"Eighty-four shots," the bartender mumbled distractedly. All around, customers had stopped their actions to watch the large glass shape that had been growing for nearly an hour. Simon had stopped his own drinking after the fifth or so shot, leaning against an arm in boredom.

"You wasted yet, Viral?" The man sounded aggravated as he stood from the bar stool.

"Not quite yet, Simon~" his companion grinned as he peered over the glasses at the bartender. "Got anymore?"

"Uhm, we're out of shot glasses. And liquor. I ran out of the whiskey by the time you finished your first two levels of that pyramid. You dried our asses out, man."

Viral's look of surprise was only topped by the bartender's expression when the man flipped the stack of glasses onto him.

Glass and spent bottles fell all around as the Beastman flung himself onto the poor barman, knocking down the shelves behind him and roaring incomprehensibly at his face. Simon sighed, reaching over and hauling his companion off of the poor man.

The unexpected haymaker he got from a random bystander made him blink, and soon he was knocked down by a crowd surging towards the counter. "Fight, fight, fight!" The shouting was heard only after the first few people began brawling, as it always was. Simon's flung spent shot glass shut the faraway voice up soon enough, but only after he had knocked down a huge brute off of his feet with a kick to the chest, coupled with a stomp to his crotch.

As if it were an old western, men and women from all along the Silver Moon stood and punched at each other, for no reason other than "everyone else is doing it," as one man cackled drunkenly as he punched a matronly woman in the face.

Simon and Viral ducked through fights between whole groups of people as the Beastman ran for some target his companion couldn't see. At last he jumped at a booth and snagged a full bottle of wine, turning over on the table and chugging with all of his might. Realizing that he'd far ago passed the "insanely drunk" stage, Simon palmed his face and took a step towards his giggling, drinking friend, only to be stopped by something pulling at his long coat.

He looked back and saw the man he'd stomped on earlier, a large bruise in the middle of his bare chest and a boot mark on his crotch, which he clutched at with one hand. The man, amazingly dressed in less than Simon, who wore naught but his pants, boots and coat, growled incomprehensibly as he clutched two orbs in his hand- the one that wasn't on his crotch.

Staring at the two balls, half-red and half-white, Simon wondered if the man had grabbed onto his coat before taking those objects out, or used the hand that was on his crotch. As the man flung the two balls to the floor with some words he didn't care to pay attention to, Simon decided he didn't need to know, and would be washing his coat later.

As two bipedal monsters materialized in front of him with a bright flash, one blue with four arms and an indescribable face, and the other a body sans a head, with eyes replacing its nipples, despair washed over him along with a thought. _Is it really that hard to live in a semblance of normalcy?_

--__--

_"Among other news, pandemonium has broken out in the sleepy town of Silverton, where a bar fight spread from the Silver Moon, a seedy bar known for semi-legal activities, to become a riot that encompassed the entire region. There are witness reports of two men being seen fighting head to head against powerful Fighting Type Pokémon, but that has yet to be proven to be anything but tall tales."_

_"The chaos was only compounded by the explosions and tremors reported coming from Mount Silver, an area known for having some of the most powerful Pokémon in the world living wild. As night fell, reports came in from cities and towns both in Johto and Kanto of amazing light shows from the mountaintop, where we speculate there is an extremely high-level trainer battle in progress. As it is, none of our reporters have been able to near the mountaintop, their Pokémon afraid of closing in, but our helicopter crews are quite sure they will be able to close in soon."_

--__--

Simon ducked under two fists, letting the blue monster stumble forward before tackling its midsection and flinging it at the burly man who had done nothing but stand there and give orders. The eye-nippled torso attempted to kick him from behind, but the man simply stepped forward, craning his head to look around.

The biped let its kick's momentum carry it into a pirouette, before abruptly bringing its leg down and lunging with the other. The blue-haired man absently took another step, watching the creature curiously as it kicked forward. The outstretched leg reached its maximum length, just short of his back, before continuing on without a pause.

Simon was thrown a dozen meters down the street by the unexpected impact, ending up on his back with a look of confusion.

He sat up woozily, looking at the brown thing. It seemed to expect immediate retaliation, as if he could stretch his arms like it could its legs, which he could see slowly fattening up from a too-thin shape. After a few seconds it seemed to notice its folly and embarrassedly drop its defensive stance, leaping forward.

As it touched down with a foot lower than another, surely meant to hit him with it, the creature blinked in confusion at the empty street under it. A rustling caught its nonexistent ears, as well as a glimpse of blue at the end of its peripheral vision. Before it could turn around, Simon grabbed the middle of its flat shoulders and pulled with one arm, using the other to hit its lower back.

A distressed cry of "Hitmonlee!" caught his attention as it flew off, Simon's punch carrying enough force to fling it onto a nearby house. Screams filled the air as the creature crashed through the roof.

Simon came up to a standing position, raising an eyebrow at the burly man who had been following him doggedly even as the crowds fanning out from the Silver Moon had taken to looting and having mindless fun through the streets.

Absently, Simon wondered how often this happened. It had barely taken a second for the place to break out into a massive brawl that spilled into the streets. _How do those people manage to stay civil, let alone to keep this town functioning on hot days?_

"Machamp! Teach this asshole a lesson!" The annoying man seemed to think his little beast could be more successful than the previous one, but it seemed even it realized there was no chance it would do more than the Hitmonlee's single hit upon him. Simon knew that the hulking four-armed being had no tricks up its metaphorical sleeves, nor within its underwear.

Feeling vaguely sick, the man dodged this 'Machamp's two-armed swing, wary of the thing after he had seen it crush a steel girder with only one of its fists. As it was, Machamp was wary of Simon as well, careful to keep its distance from Simon's comparative strength.

Of course, as he was faster than the Pokémon by quite a margin, its blue, beaked face was quickly covered by a large fist. One of Machamp's arms, at ready since its other arms were used to try and attack its opponent, grabbed onto the Simon's arm as the punch connected.

The earth itself shook as the air was filled by a sound of falling rocks. Simon's other arm hesitated as he looked to his left, seeing only a growing cloud of dust, which barely obscured some great light.

The aftereffects of Mt. Silver's collapse took their toll on the small town as his a melon-sized blue hand hit the middle of his chest. The man emitted a grunt as he was flung far into the air, the wall of earthen materials suspended into the air tossing him back as it overtook Silverton.

--__--

_A cacophony of noise rose up along with the winds that cleared the air, putting each boy in the other's sights. The roar of chaos underneath drowned out any thoughts the two might have had, but at that moment they had none. Crimson and gold eyes met, neither hostile as they had been before their clash._

_Red stood at the end of a stable section of the summit, arms crossed. A Pokéball was absently shoved into one of his pockets, his last Pokémon being returned, while a smile bloomed on his face._

_Gold was barely aware of his steady descent, eyes shining with wonder as the previous Champion's shape grew taller. His first choice for the fight, as well as last, stood beside him still, crown topping out far above Gold's height. But at this moment his eyes were solely on his earlier opponent, who lowered the tip of his cap, even if it did not obscure his grin._

_The older Champion took a step forward, and then another, managing to slide down the rocky slope with ease. As he neared Gold and his slowly-falling platform, his right arm was outstretched, a hand of friendship as well as aid. Managing to shake hands as they gained stability with Red's nearly dropping to the slope to keep from toppling over, the two boys broke out into laughter as the platform slowly fell off the side of the mountain._

_Gold's pink companion spoke, a feat usually not achievable by a Pokémon, "If you had waited for a few more seconds, we'd have dropped to our deaths before we were saved. Well, not me. As it seems I didn't need your aid to survive." It seemed slightly grumpy at the lack of aid in hopping off of the large rock to the more stable mountaintop, but a smile was still present in its reptilian face._

_It quickly left as the surface they were on slowly tipped to completely horizontal, wind rushing over them as the base of the mountain collapsed. Red decided to speak his first words in the two's company as the sound of crumbling rumbled ominously from beneath._

_"I don't think my training methods did this mountain's consistency much good."_

--__--

Thousands of eyes had been trained on Mt. Silver for the whole day, watching the explosions and far-off lights from its summit. As it was, every one of those eyes watched in horror as the mountain shook, the structure borne of nature millions of years before seeming to withdraw into itself before plumes of earth were ejected throughout it.

The home of hundreds of some of the strongest wild Pokémon in the world, Mt. Silver was thought to be impervious to damage. As the summit descended and the mountain imploded, that belief was crushed like the life forms underneath the rocks.

Lance of the Elite Four waved the squad of Flyers, trainers riding on powerful League-trained Pidgeots, down towards the masses of humanity partially obscured by the immediate effects of Mt. Silver's collapse. Ahead of the thirty-man formation, he himself zoomed towards the source of the riots enveloping the whole region.

The small town of Silverton was marked by the wide, garish, red-outlined building at its furthest edge. The Silver Moon shone with a grimace-inducing collection of neon lights, a tropical array of colors shining through the surrounding blocks. Compounded with the small fires spreading through the town, the bar made it so Silverton was nearly a beacon.

The red-haired man could see, plain as day, the looting and pillaging happening all over the town. He growled slightly as he saw a man heft a trash can and fling it into a family establishment. Lance patted his Charizard, pointing at the man. The Pokémon nodded at him and swooped downwards.

As the reptilian zeroed in on the delinquent, Lance's eyes widened and he frantically kicked at his Pokémon's sides, to make it pull up. With a curious expression, it flapped its wings forcefully and hovered in air for a moment, before doing it again and again to stay in place. Lance had no eyes for his Pokémon, however. Instead, he watched the rioter as he tried to push a hulking shape off of himself.

Said shape did so alone, rolling off of the struggling man and showing its angry face as it laid on its back. Lance's eyes narrowed as the Hitmonchan stood up, peering left and right in confusion.

"Shit... I've never seen a Hitmonchan knocked on its ass like that. It doesn't look low-leveled, either," the man pondered out loud. His Pokémon grunted in agreement, assessing the small brown shape as it dashed down the street, fists beginning to glow as it bowled people over. It seemed to have tunnel vision as it rushed an impassive blue-haired man, who seemed to be holding a trash bag in one hand.

Lance boggled as the man managed to dodge the Pokémon's lightning-quick punches, snapping his trash bag-holding arm up and dragging it over the Pokémon. The covered shape struggled and flailed around, a punch handily tearing a hole in the bag, even if its hands had no fingers to open it with.

Calm as the ocean, the man took a step back as he readied himself, and then advanced, kicking upwards savagely. Lance balked as the man missed the struggling shape on the way up, only to use the momentum of the previous step to catch it behind the head in an axe-kick.

Lance's mind was made up as the Pokémon in a bag stopped struggling, going limp in the new crater. A look of confusion overtook his face as his Charizard landed in the street, trainer and Pokémon alike staring as a blonde man gave the blue-haired man a high-five, before giving the downed Hitmonchan a light kick. Lance watched it roll slightly.

When he looked up at the stabilizing shape, he blinked at the two men who were peering at him. The orange Pokémon under him twitched suddenly, and he hopped off. Looking back at it, his attention was caught by a brick that dropped from its head, slightly broken. Peering at the Charizard's face, Lance barely had time to cringe at the bloody snout and angry expression before his companion exploded into motion.

The blue-haired man seemed to expect the large Pokémon to be as little a challenge as his previous opponent was. He countered the Charizard's raised claw with an open fist, somehow expecting to stop a hulking flying lizard's momentum with his hand alone.

The sound of cement breaking under the man's feet as he managed to take the impact from the Pokémon surprised Lance almost as much as the man seemed surprised when he was hurled through the jewelry store behind him, angry Charizard following. The blonde man latched onto the orange lizard's tail in an attempt to hold it back, but he just ended up being pulled along.

Simon punched at the beast's frail-looking arms, kicking at its stomach with all of his might, but it was for naught as it held him up easily, green eyes that blazed with a flame far more metaphorical than the one brewing in its mouth glaring right through him. Viral leaped, screaming incoherently, over the thing's head and clamped its mouth closed with a forceful stomp, making it spasm in pain as the flame was caught inside with no way out.

The claws clutching Simon's shoulders tightened considerably, but he could still move as Viral used his other foot to try and crush the thing's skull. Simon helped considerably, maneuvering his body so that he'd be able to kick it just under the Beastman's targeted area.

As it was, the dragon-like beast still maintained control of its extremities. Before Viral could do anything to crush its braincase, he was lit on fire and flung into a nearby wall by the thing's tail. As the Beastman became acquainted to the feeling of rubies stuffing his mouth, Simon's foot was nearly gobbled up. The immortal man was pulled from his uncomfortable spot against the wall, then flung into it hard enough to make a dent. Resting uneasily in the hole deep enough to sit in, he decided to up the stakes.

A well of energy hummed within, his soul itself rumbling in satisfaction as his body felt stronger, faster. Simon's left pupil shone with the green spiral denoting his power before he braced his arms and legs.

Within the second that this had happened, the giant reptilian had lit up its maw once again, expecting no interruptions. Simon's bloodthirsty expression was ignored, along with the frizzing of his hair as the wall creaked with his power.

Each attack was stopped in its tracks as Lance returned his Pokémon unexpectedly, the Charizard's surprise only being shown for a second before it became white light and withdrew into the small black and white orb in the Elite Four member's hand.

Simon blinked in momentary confusion at the lack of an opponent, before dropping from the wall and peering at Lance. Seeing no threat in the red-haired man, he crossed his arms and frowned.

"Finally, someone possessing these beasts that refrains from mindlessly attacking. Good to see you withdrew that thing, shows you can see sense." Blinking in confusion at Simon's assessment of the battle's eventual outcome, Lance couldn't think of a response. "Mind telling me what the fuck is going on here?"

"That's actually what I came here to find out," the man mumbled, rubbing the back of his head in slight embarrassment. "All I know is that a mountain range is decimated, and there's riots breaking out all over its outer reaches... the roots of which were sewn here."

Viral stopped coughing jewelry to the side, and slowly stood. His arms were spread wide as he steadied himself, eyes closed in pain. The two watched in wonder as he gagged, crouching as he reached into his mouth. Eventually, with a loud clink, a ring with an enormous gem dropped from the Beastman's lips.

"There was a bar fight," Viral eventually coughed out. "Not sure how it began; some guy just flipped the shit and attacked the bartender, and then everyone started brawlin'. I think he was the same guy who sicced his little critters on us; those two ugly brown things and the blue one," he explained honestly as he regained his balance.

"Okay... that Hitmonchan was his?" At the responding silence, Lance elaborated, "the one you stuck in a bag."

"Oh yes, he took some time to throw that one at me, though." Simon smiled easily, putting his arms behind his head and stretching with a grunt. "Fun fight, that. If a bit lackluster, but I'll take what I get."

Lance peered at the blue-haired man curiously, weighing his options. He decided to get out with it after Simon and Viral began to look annoyed at his lack of reaction. "I... I'm Lance of the Elite Four. Acting Champion."

Trading looks, the two other men shrugged almost simultaneously. "I'm Viral. Roguish wandering hero," one of the two proclaimed.

His companion was far less interested in flair, going for a simple "Simon. Hobo," for his introduction.

"Well... Simon and Viral. I saw your prowess today, and given the times that we're in, I think the League could really benefit from two men like you training for us." He easily slid into a businessman tone, something familiar in this weird place.

"... Training?" Simon tilted his head to the side curiously. "I don't know, I think we've done enough training in our time."

"I don't mean yourselves... Simon and Viral. I meant, working for the League as Pokémon Trainers. Seeing two men of your skill, I can only boggle at the capabilities Pokémon trained by the two of you would have."

"Pokémon are... those ugly things we beat into pulp?" Viral scratched his head, seemingly overlooking his inactivity during the debacle between Simon and the wronged, burly Pokémon Trainer.

"Some are like that... yes." Lance nodded uneasily.

"You know nothing about either of us. We could use the power given to us to become overlords of a small town and have a large harem doing everything we want for our whole lives with these things under our control, or try to bring down the government. These things aren't necessarily constrained by human limits, from what I've seen. They can beat the shit out of soldiers any day." Simon thought aloud.

"Oh, trust me, my soldiers are quite capable of taking on inhuman opponents."

Simon held a finger to his chin as he looked at the cracked ceiling absently, walking over broken glass as he thought. "And yet you offer us this job opportunity because we beat up three, then were ready to kill your dinosaur."

Simon looked at Viral in thought, the Beastman simply shrugging back at him.

"Okay, we're game."

**Behold. Chapter 2 is already in the works, but the updates will take far longer, now that I try to constrain myself to plot instead of mindlessly typing. Hardly anything will remain as it was. This story's lower-quality predecessor will be removed from here, although I can try to provide it to anyone who asks. **

**Please review, feedback's really helpful. :)  
**


	2. Chapter 2

Simon stumbled as he dropped off of the chubby beige dragon, before righting himself and looking around at the pitch-black sky. Viral slowly rolled into sight, having tumbled off of the Pokémon as it moved onto its two back legs to wave cheerfully at some faraway point. Lance's enormous Charizard landed ahead of him, tail flaring almost as brightly as its annoyed eyes.

The Beastman groaned in pain, clutching at his head as he curled up into a fetal position. Simon pulled him up by an askew arm as Lance returned the two dragon Pokémon. The Elite Four member nodded at the same faraway point, and began walking towards its general direction, Simon following. As Viral moved behind the two, he felt something poke at his ribs.

He ignored it for a few minutes, following the two men in a post-drunken stupor for some time before he noted that what was poking at his side was most decidedly not something that was supposed to be in his cloak.

The Beastman fiddled with the clothing, reaching into it for a sign of what was bothering him. As he did so, he kept moving, the three men treading through the desolate plateau. Simon looked back curiously, but seeing Viral in no trouble, he didn't even slow down.

The faraway point where they were walking towards neared slowly, and eventually Simon raised the question of why they had landed so far. "And ruin the surprise? You two are alright, and will no doubt make good trainers... but I don't think I want you knowing the layout of all of the League facilities."

"Fair enough," mumbled Viral as he yanked the offending object out of his cloak. It had gotten stuck against a pocket, atop his satchel but under his arm in a position perfect for bothering him without being moved.

The large round stone tablet contained small twinkling rocks that happily shone in the moonlight. Lance looked back to the blond man to make a comment, and blinked at the large rock in his hands.

"Where'd that come from?" From his perspective, Viral had produced the curious artifact from thin air, his baggy cloak making it so the stone was invisible to the untrained eye. "Is that... is that a fossil? What the hell is it with you guys? Did you pluck this from under a tree root?"

Viral looked around for trees, sighing in despair as he saw only the vast forests beyond the ridge of the narrowing plateau. He peered closely at the grooves carved into the stone, spiraling erratically from the center. "I guess so." He shrugged, tucking the priceless item into his clothing. "Dunno where it came from, though. Found it in my pocket."

Lance stared uncomprehendingly, before palming his face and turning around. He set a faster pace as he walked away from them, coat flapping in the breeze.

"A mountain _fell on us_, Viral. I don't doubt more than just rubble got into your clothes. It's nice that it was a fossilized thing instead of a rabid animal bent on eating your nipples." Simon shook his head in amusement, watching Lance's form grow steadily smaller before pulling at his companion's arm to get him to move.

Their path took them to a gray structure, squat and accentuated by long walls that trailed down the sides of the plateau, growing smaller in the distance before looping around in a thin, bright line that reflected the moonlight.

"They've walled off half of the forest?" Simon pondered, looking at the simple building in front of them. Double doors made of glass through which light shone cheerfully were topped by a small banner. Pokémon League HQ.

"Indeed, here we house habitats and breeding centers for the League's certified War Trainers. Our most skilled reside here, alongside their Pokémon. It's why we keep the location secret; you can't see the walls from a distance, and the building's tiny," Lance explained as he pushed his way through the doors. The Spiral Knights followed him in, peering at the entrance hall's vivid wall murals, which accentuated the earthen statues of dragons lining them.

Lance walked through the room, stopping in front of the largest dragon statue in the room, standing head, shoulders and wings above all others. Its chubby shape wasn't at all welcoming like the one they had ridden in on, but rather intimidating.

He picked a small key out of his collar and stuck it into one of the objects' joints, standing calmly as it rumbled and retreated into the plain white wall behind it. A small stairway was noticeable under the area where the Dragonite resided, and Lance waved the two in behind him.

"So, if this is your headquarters, why does it take so much trouble to get inside? Just have a damn door to get inside, jeez," Viral grumbled as they entered the hole in the ground.

"This is the old one, which is nowhere near as protected as the new facilities. We have a lot rarer species coexisting in these grounds, though they mostly stay in the underground... complex." Lance paused for a second as he opened a heavy door at the end of the stairs, dousing the three men with light. The chamber beyond was brightly lit by the large white circle in the earthy ceiling.

"Are we in a cave?" Simon rapped his knuckles against a wall, feeling part of it crumble away.

"Man-made, yes. The walls are of earth, but reinforced. Here is where we bring exceptional, trusted trainers, to pick out starters. Amateurs just get a small selection, but you two... you'll need something like you. With much potential for growth. Think of this like window-shopping. You get to pick one. Don't pick the biggest, the smallest, the meanest or nicest. Pick which one feels right. Your Starter and you should have a connection." Lance rolled his eyes, waving his right hand dismissively.

Viral and Simon shared a curious look as the man used the same key he'd used on the statue above- "So what's the point of all the security if one key opens everything?" The Beastman scratched his head– to open the large steel door immediately to the right of the entrance.

It opened automatically, eliciting a curious "Oooh" from both Beastman and digger, before the appreciation turned into confusion. Happy critters stumbled over each other, ran around, and did happy critter things in the large cavern beyond the door.

"Those are the lowest-level examples we have, here. They can all evolve into powerful Pokémon, even if they don't seem like much. A Pokémon trained from early on can become more powerful than any other, if it's done right. But... I don't know, you aren't the sort to keep those things around." He looked back at Simon, who shrugged. His companion was nowhere in sight. "Where's Viral?"

A simple pointed finger led him to the Beastman, sitting cross-legged on the dirt as he looked at a small Pokémon, the brown creature's big eyes staring back at him. Both seemed entranced, the Teddiursa's face only turned towards the trainer-to-be, as was the case for the man. Around them, other baby Pokémon watched in curiosity, Jigglypuffs, Pichus and Togepis stumbling to get a better view of the stranger while the large light circle above made it seem like his hair glowed.

Slowly, cautiously, a hand came up. Viral's arm extended towards the Pokémon's head, and made to touch it from above, before it stopped. Lance stared, entranced, as even the other creatures leaned forward in expectation, small eyes widening as the normally contemptuous man seemed regal.

Suddenly, Viral's index finger extended, flicking the bear's ear. Teddiursa giggled as it rubbed the circular appendage with a similarly-rounded paw. Simon palmed his face as Viral did it again, eliciting a giggle slightly more hysterical than before, the brown fluffy paw rubbing the ear for slightly longer.

When Viral flicked the Pokémon's ear a third time, he unexpectedly found himself with the bear hanging from his finger by its teeth.

As they exited the small chamber, the critters waved as Viral rubbed an undamaged finger, Teddiursa refusing to let go of him as it monkeyed around on his back. "It seems he likes you, Viral."

"Damn thing bit me, I doubt it wants to do anything but chew on me some more."

"This Teddiursa's the most social of the bunch, but I don't think it ever allowed himself to be taken from his home. I think, you two would make a good match." Lance was nonchalant as he tread down to the next doorway, far removed from the last. "All of these lead to the outside, eventually, even if they're sealed off at night."

Viral decided to speak up before Lance started speaking again. "They can... shoot fire from their mouths, and that kind of stuff. What could be a threat to these things?"

"Well, Ariados around these parts are huge. Really dangerous, almost as much as the Sandslash packs in the mountains to the north." The next chamber was vast as the previous, with a large circle of light in the middle of the ceiling providing light to the environment. Both men less taught in the oddities of the Pokémon world wondered when the creatures slept, but they decided it didn't quite matter when a small red figure obstructed their way into the cavern.

The fox, with five puffy tails, yelped happily as it stared up at the three enormous figures from its perspective, before dropping to the floor.

Viral blinked at the red fox in front of him as it mewled pitifully on the floor, lying prostrate with its tails splayed out. "What the hell is that thing doing?" Teddiursa peered over his shoulder curiously, having climbed up the Beastman's back to stare.

"That's a Vulpix," Lance commented. "She's a weird one, always does that when adult trainers come by. I guess it's a show of submission so they trust she's loyal."

Viral's look of confusion morphed into one of thought as he took that comment in, before gradually becoming one of horror. "I don't think... I don't think that's quite it. I think she's presenting."

"Pre..." Simon blinked at the small furry form that looked up with big innocent eyes. "Oh, Viral, that's disgusting. Why would you even think that?"

"Simon, that's what animals do. Believe me. I know. I'm not taking any chances with this batch, after this thing..." The Beastman slowly backed away, leaving the Vulpix in the same spot. The two others stared at her curiously, watching her roll over and... display herself.

"Dammit Lance, why do all these Pokémon things have to be so creepy?" Simon beat a hasty retreat, leaving behind the shaken Dragon Master.

--__--

Five powerful jaws flexed, enormous leg muscles moving in tandem as the creatures bent down to grab at their prey. Simon seemed enraptured as they zeroed in on their meal, using huge arms to rip it from the ground mercilessly. It could not scream as it was consumed, the unfeeling mass of food being thrown carelessly into the small family of Kangaskhans' mouths. Viral blinked as they began to happily chew on the grass ripped from a circle in the ground.

"Is this like a ritual?"

Lance supported his head on a fist, his chin rubbing against his knuckles as he thought. "Kind of; Kangaskhans are very tightly-knit Pokémon, even if they're not the most social with species. Eating for them is something really big, when they're all together."

"So what's with that little one?" Simon nodded at a nearby tree, one of the few dotting the chamber. On its base rested a Kangaskhan almost two and a half meters in height, sadly handing the baby in its pouch produce from the berry tree. "It's got a baby, but I don't see any others near it."

"That's a she. Not sure why she's always alone; she's just a bit small." Lance and Simon peered at the Kangaskhan, Viral ignoring the herd and its outcast for the small bear that was eluding his grasp. After a few seconds, the lone Pokémon looked up from her lavender baby, which happily munched on fruit even without the attention. She blinked at the congregation.

"Khaaan?" She queried, moving towards them. Simon looked appraisingly at the brown Pokémon that towered over him just as her brethren did to herself, then at his hand.

As Kangaskhan got within reach, he peered into her eyes and lashed out at her stomach, near the baby. An unhappy squeal responded to his advance, which was stopped within short order by a large hand. Next he knew, Simon was halfway buried in a crater, an angry marsupial face glaring down at him.

Lance moved beside him, from the spot he had flinched towards. Peering down at Simon, he did nothing to help. "I would think that trying to punch a two-ton animal's baby while it's on them is not a good idea."

"Apparently so." Simon smiled with bloody teeth. "I want this one. And the baby, too."

--__--

Clouds lazily drifted across the sky up above as a rugged man dressed entirely in Khaki angrily stomped up and down in front of the congregation of men and women of all ages. From little girls to graying gentlemen, all of them had one thing in common, one sole reason for being worthy of his attention: they had potential as Pokémon trainers. Picked out by the League amongst hundreds of their peers, the two dozen heads sweating under the unforgiving yellow star above were all to be Pokemon trainers of the highest caliber.

The group stood atop a large plateau, the league's preferred terrain for any facility, as he lectured them on the importance of trainers' physical conditions, to the point of giving them the ability to beat even some Pokémon in. He knew he was playing it up far too much, but determination and willpower was all that could get these people through his regimen.

"For the next six months, all of you are going to be running, crawling, and falling all over the course behind me," he nearly growled, waving behind himself at the expanse of obstacles strewn in a barely-discernible path. The oldest men and women in the group had steely glints in their eyes as they sized the obstacle course up, not yet old enough to back down in the face of such challenges. The youngest seemed gleeful at the prospect of getting to run around and go through the mud, expectant in the face of dirty fun.

Viral stared at his enormous clawed fingers, flexing them in front of his face as he wondered if they would fit into his nose. Simon stared up at the slowly-moving clouds in boredom, unimpressed by the burly little man's speeches. Many around them seemed enraptured by the tales of glory, of the League's history in keeping the continent safe from both internal and external threats. However, soon enough they became just as bored at the drivel the man spouted endlessly, a teenage boy with spiked-up purple hair and garish yellow clothing loudly questioning his words.

"If the League's so great, what was the big deal with Team Rocket in the past few years? I grew up with those guys being boogie men, taking things from people left and right, and you're saying they never happened, that the League has kept everyone safe? You're a damn liar!" He spoke aggressively, moving to the front of the line and finishing with his hand in the man's face.

"Son, don't think Team Rocket is anything like the threats we faced before the forming of the League. Kanto was the first continent to create one! Following our example, the rest of the world united under their respective banners, putting an end to the feudal era where the strongest did whatever they wanted." The middle-aged man took off his large hat in a fit of passion, allowing his bare head to shine under the sun. "There is no war, no strife, only those few terrorists seeking to bring down this civilization! What you live in is heaven! And that is because of our careful eyes!" With a sneer, the man fixed his large sunglasses and replaced his hat, moving on down the line.

Viral blinked, setting his hands down as he thought about the spirited words. "Looks like we're in some utopia, eh?" He sniggered to Simon, who shook his head with a wary smile.

"Nothing's perfect, Viral. With all of these crazy animals running around, there's no way the whole world is as perfect as he says. They recruited us as soon as they saw we could hold the damn things back. Gotta have some trouble with them, right?"

"Your interpretation's nice. It leads to more fun in the long run. They must use the things for _something_ if they're training. A world where monsters are only used for competitive battling would be... unreal." Viral tilted his head and focused on the clouds that seemed to enrapture his companion.

"Quite," he mumbled. "Do you see that thing up there? By the marshmallow-shaped cloud."

"Simon, marshmallows don't have definitive shapes." Viral blinked. "And don't change your mind and tell me it looks like a drill-shaped marshmallow. I know every cloud looks like a drill to you." He squinted at the man. "It's not a healthy fetish."

"What I do in bedrooms or city streets is none of your concern. Look, in that big cloudless space." The blue-haired man simply nodded up, not deigning to use his arms to help point out his attention-grabber. "Something's fluttering around. Bird?" Viral peered up, spotting movement.

"It's... blue? Nah, that's no bird..."

"It's a Dragonair!" An excited cry rang from below, startling the two. A little boy with blond hair was staring straight up with binoculars. "The League has hundreds of them! More than the rest of the world combined!"

The drill instructor in the front shouted at them to keep it down, making his way through the throng of suddenly-excited people watching the sky for a Dragonair. His face reddened as he called for order, waving his arms around spasmodically as people moved back to a loose rectangle.

"You two," he growled as he stared up at the two men, "have a lot of nerve, lazing around like this when right at this moment I could have you kicked out of the program. You were chosen by the League to train for its protection, and I will not have anyone living off of its funds and doing nothing. Neither of you young men are looking too good in my eyes, but I do believe in second chances. Shape up."

He looked at the sky, peering through shades at the blue form that seemed to grow for a few seconds, before zooming off. "We've dallied around for far too long, now. As I was saying, that course over there," he said in a lower voice as he pointed through a break in the throng of humanity, "is what you all will live for, in the next few months. Your ultimate goal is to get through it. It'd doable by almost anyone, but of course there's a time limit. Every day..."

As the man trailed off, walking to the head of the crowd, Simon decided to speak up. "This is boot camp?"

"Not quite, but if you'd like to think of it as that, you may." He turned around quickly, looking over the crowd. "Any more questions?"

"And boot camp is supposed to make us better trainers how?" The outspoken purple-haired boy had a sneer plastered onto his face. "I thought being a trainer had to do with tactics and strategy? Trainers are brains and Pokémon are brawn."

"Pokémon teams are not only made up of the Pokémon themselves. _You_ are part of it too, and if you're not up to fight alongside your teammates then you're not worth the air you breathe. This 'boot camp' is going to make you more durable, less of a liability for your team during combat, and maybe a fighting force by yourself. It will mature you, and make you appreciate what your companions will do for you, the training they will undergo." The drill instructor was almost solemn, before glancing at Viral and Simon, who were shaking their hands at each other.

Suddenly Viral pumped a fist in celebration, with a triumphant cry of "Scissors!" and strolled to the Khaki-clad man. "You said our goal is to finish that little obstacle course of yours, eh? Show me how, and I'll do it." His smirk was feral, sharp teeth glinting in the sunlight.

"I'll follow," Simon called halfheartedly, waving lazily as he walked forward.

--__--

"So you finished." Arms crossed, the imposing figure of the Pokémon Master frowned.

"Yeah, I think so. He just told us to leave." The blond head turned to look at a nearby mountain through the surrounding trees, watching smoke lazily roll off of its peak.

"You finished." The man closed his eyes in annoyance, blocking out both the clearing around him and the smoking wreck far away.

"... Yes."

"In one day." Lance absently wondered about what exactly could be smoking up in the plateau. There was nothing flammable in the obstacle course, nor anything that could set off a flame, to his knowledge. The two men in front of him had managed to burn it down.

Viral snickered. "Yeah? What were you expecting? For us to stay there for half a year? Heh, heh. Funny guy."

"You picked us out solely because we could beat those Pokemen in a fair fight. And then you send us to boot camp where kids and old people learn to survive against cute little forest critters? " The blue-haired member of the trio crossed his arms.

"Look, nevermind that. You two are honestly a piece of work. No one else wanted to take you in after that damn stunt you pulled, and now I have to put aside my duties to train you." Lance sneered, looking back at the smoking wreck of the training course he'd picked the two up from.

Simon scratched his neck as he watched the solemn clouds of smoke roiling in the distance, before looking back to the Dragon Master. "Well, train us then. If you're so annoyed, then show us what you need to. We'll get through it just fine."

Lance groaned, before taking out two Pokéballs. "Very well. Maybe I won't be stuck with you two for too long- the last two champions got the hang of fighting within minutes, I think. But they came from Pallet and Newbark, so I'm quite sure they're more children trained from birth by Oak and Elm than prodigies that should come once in a millenium."

With twin flashes, two Pokémon stood side by side in front of the Pokémon Master, a small dinosaur with a budding flower atop its back, and a blue turtle.

"Ivy," the shorter creature grunted. Lance looked down at it and the turtle, then at Simon and Viral.

"These are an Ivysaur and a Wartortle. As I'm sure neither of you is acquainted with Pokémon battling, they will have a spar to show you what to do. There are limits to what Pokémon can do, and there are regulations when you are fighting a League-sanctioned battle. Do take care to follow them." Absently, he tossed the two their Pokéballs, the small see-through orbs showing a Teddiursa and Kangaskhan lazing about.

As Lance took a position between Simon and Viral, he waved at his two Pokémon. The starters simply stared at each other before Wartortle opened its mouth wide, gagging for a few seconds until large iridescent bubbles forcefully expelled themselves from it.

Ivysaur grunted as it braced itself, hopping to its left as the bubbles exploded into the ground it had been standing on. The small waterlogged craters slowly filled in with soil from their surroundings as two green whips formed from the Pokémon's sides, moving forwards rapidly to slap Wartortle in the face.

Wartortle growled, dashing forward with a claw readied. Ivysaur's lesser mobility made it unable to dodge, so it simply hopped again, trying to catch the claw with its mouth.

"As you can see, Pokémon can fight rather well without orders. They know how to fight, so their capabilities are already far above what a wild Pokémon could do," Lance provided a commentary as Wartortle savagely kicked its opponent to dislodge it from its claw. "Right now they're going at it mano a mano, so their type advantages and disadvantages don't matter. If they were to use them..."

A weak, thin beam of light exploded from the Ivysaur's back, catching Wartortle in the chin. The turtle flopped over, dazed and nursing a slight burn on its neck. "... the playing field can change very, very quickly."

Ivysaur was panting from the low-powered, yet energy intensive Solar Beam as Lance returned it along with the crestfallen Wartortle.

"Every Pokeman can use these kinds of powers?" Viral stared at the soggy hole where Wartortle's Bubbles attack hit.

"Almost every Pokémon, yes, once they are powerful enough. It really depends on their level; a level 18 Wartortle, like the one you just saw fight, can use Bubblebeam, Water Gun, Water Pulse and other such attacks, when a level 5 Squirtle trying to do the same would likely die from the energy expenditure required for one such attack."

"So all that really matters when you're talking about these things is how much energy they can spend?" Viral queried, looking at Pokéball, where Teddiursa seemed to be sleeping. He shook it slightly and the Pokémon simply curled up into a ball.

"Well, they have to learn to use the attack first; which won't really happen until they can safely try it. Disregarding life-threatening situations, of course." Lance pushed the two men towards opposing sides of the small clearing they were situated in, without avail.

The three stood there, Lance pushing at the other two's shoulders. "Would you like us to move, Lance?" Viral smiled down at him, Simon simply chuckling.

The trainer let go, coughing nervously into an arm as he stood upright. "Yes, please. Stand on opposing sides of the clearing so you two can have a practice battle. Giving someone experience in doing something is the best way to teach them how to do it quickly. And since my job is being encroached upon by the time I need to train you two, quicker is better."

The two shrugged nearly in unison, before strolling to their places. Lance stayed in his spot, arms crossed until the men took their positions. "Pokémon out," he demanded authoritatively. Simon and Viral blinked at each other before complying, releasing Teddiursa and Kangaskhan silently.

The Pokémon, compared to their images within the Pokéballs, were wide awake and taking in their surroundings with curious eyes. Lance sized the two Pokémon up with a grimace, watching the small bear Pokémon, barely taller than the marsupial's foot, wave at her.

"Alright, you can start," Lance probed after a few seconds of silence. Which continued as Teddiursa became less enthusiastic as he stared at his opponent. Kangaskhan gave him time, idly tapping her foot against the ground. "You're supposed to give them orders..."

"Go for the eyes!" Viral suddenly bellowed, pointing at Kangaskhan's face. Teddiursa squeaked and jumped, propelling himself several meters with each leap. As the Pokémon neared his opponent, Kangaskhan began moving. Simon was silent as his Pokémon backhanded her opponent away as if he were a fly.

The bear stumbled as he landed, barely able to stay up. Lance grimaced at the tiny Pokémon, utterly outmatched by a far more capable opponent. He looked at Viral askance, waiting for the man to call his Pokémon back.

"Try to flank it! It's big and fat, so you should be able to move around it!" Viral's order was taken to with enthusiasm indicative of a Pokémon bent on making its trainer happy. Lance stared in horror as the tiny thing rushed at the Pokémon five times his size.

Simon was quiet as Teddiursa ran around his Pokémon, making it turn in confusion. "Simon, why aren't you-" Lance was interrupted mid-sentence by Simon's forceful shout, making the Pokémon Master blink as he predicted his opponent's position.

"Swing your tail to the right and down!" Kangaskhan immediately complied, spinning on one leg as her tail swung in a wide arc. The Pokémon barely felt the impact of her opponent's face against the bottom of her tail, but she did hear the wounded cry as he was thrown into the ground, rolling away in a heap.

"Teddiursa can't fight anymore," Lance called before Viral could send the tiny thing against something he could not hope to match at this point again. He seemed talented enough, if ruthless and unyielding. "Return him, Viral. In this match, there was nothing you could do to win, and thus Kangaskhan easily overwhelmed your Pokémon." Lance sighed. "if you two had picked out Pokémon closer in terms of power, this battle would have given you a crash-course in fighting, but I think you two already had the basics. As it is, the two of you are actually more than ready for fighting in the League, more so than many beginning trainers."

"Does that mean we can stop this boring training stuff?" Simon looked at the sky, watching the still-rolling billows of smoke mix with the slow drifting white clouds.

"It's been less than a day... but yes. I'd say you're more than qualified to begin your journey. Congratulations, that hasn't happened since... five months ago."

"I feel extraordinary," Simon deadpanned.

"You should." Lance smiled tightly, stepping forward and waving them in. As the two stood in front of him, he grabbed their shoulders and proclaimed, "With the authority proffered unto me as standing Champion, I declare Simon and Viral to be League-sanctioned Pokémon trainers. We're just north of Newbark Town. Directly to the west is Violet City, where Falkner is the first Gym Leader of the circuit. Find your way there, and you will be given further information on what's expected of you."

"You're sending us through the continent blind?" Viral blinked.

"Your job is to train. Fight the wild Pokémon on the way there, catch them if you'd like." He reached into his cloak and handed Simon and Viral two media bags. "Within these are a small amount of Pokéballs and some money to kickstart you. I trust you will need nothing more. Get through the circuit, gain recognition for your power. Then fight me, and if you're good enough? You will gain my position. Either of you." Lance nodded, and snapped his fingers. A small yellow Pokémon popped into existence on his shoulders, holding onto the top of his head for balance. "For reference, west is that way." He used his thumb to point behind him, before snapping his fingers again.

Simon and Viral looked over the empty space where he had been, then peered into their bags. "Five of these Pokéball things, and some bills. That's nice of him."

"Yeah..." Simon handed his bag to Viral and took a step towards where Lance had been, towards their first goal.

"Simon?" The Beastman stuffed the bags in his satchel, under his cloak, as he followed his companion.

"Yeah?"

"These Pokémon things," he began, stepping over a bush as Simon simply slapped branches out f the way, carving a small path through the trees.

"Yeah?"

"We've faced a lot of weird things before. Both together and as enemies. But," there was a pause. "What the fuck?"

"... Yeah."

"Oh, okay. Just to make sure we're on the same page here."


End file.
